You may remember that during my stay in ICU at OHSU in Portland, the medical staff there ran over 100 tests to try to figure out what was happening in my body. Nothing was conclusive. As I left OHSU to return to Salem Hospital over a month later, one of the leading doctors said to me, "Well, you stumped us all." Another commented, "I guess we'll just have to call it the Stumbo syndrome." It was a mystery.
Eventually it was agreed upon that I have a condition called Dermatomyositis and this is what I continue to be treated for, but it is certain that I had far more going on in my body last year than just this. In spite of medicine's finest efforts, we'll never know exactly what happened last fall.
In late January, after 77 days of hospitalization, I finally returned home and fully expected a steady recovery. Instead, I had a roller coaster ride for the next six months. At times it felt like I was climbing towards recovery and then I'd plummet again. By July I really wasn't any better than I had been in January. However, from July to the present, I've made great progress. The most natural question to ask is why? What changed that I'm now improving?
The answer: it's a mystery. I do know that in July we kicked into a new level of prayer for a season. I know that at about the same time I had some changes in medication. I also know that during this time I became far more active in trying to exercise--getting out of the wheelchair on our walks and putting in some miles of my own. At first I could only walk the distance of a few lamp posts at the Salem walking bridge, but soon I was walking the whole length and more. I also entered a whole new level of physical therapy.
So what is it that is bringing my healing? Prayer? Medicine? Exercise? My answer: All of the above. God is bringing about my healing in a manner that intellectually I can't attribute to just one cause.
All along God has been healing me in such a way that I can't give full credit to the medical world, or my own efforts--God has been answering prayer, God has been at work. I don't doubt this at all. But at the same time I can't discredit man's role in this either--the medical community and my own. As I've often experienced in life, this again is the mysterious interplay between God's work and human effort. I haven't felt led to flush my medicine and stop all therapy. I certainly will continue to request prayer. There is an interchange of divine and human at work in my body.
No one can tell us how I got so sick--there is a mystery to it. No one can tell us exactly how I am getting better--there is a mystery to it. But I want you to know that God is in the mystery.
This leads me to the lesson of the day: If we will walk with God for a lifetime, we have to be willing to embrace mystery. Those who must have every question answered and every riddle solved will struggle in life. They will either lose faith or distort their faith because faith by very definition implies that we won't be able to see or know everything clearly. Mystery--not revealing everything to us to our satisfaction--is one effective faith-building tool God has historically used. The command comes, "Leave your homeland, Abram. I'm not telling you where you are going, but I'll let you know you get there." Many of us have taken that same journey. We venture out into the unknown, trusting that He will lead us along the way. This is faith. This is the Christian journey. This is to embrace mystery.
Keep traveling.
On the path with you,
John
PS You can now watch a portion of Steve Fowler's commissioning service at the Salem Alliance website. It was a meaningful day. I enjoyed the opportunity to be able to be part of it.
Steve's Commissioning Service
Great to see you and Joanna last night. I hope I did not keep you too long, but it is always great encouragement to see the both of you and to see your smiles.
This morning, I read some verses out of Proverbs. Proverbs 25:2 states..."It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, But the glory of kings is to search out a matter." Yes, God is mysterious. I found it very interesting to then come here and see your blog about the mystery of your journey. My reading this morning also went on to share some verses about how God's word is perfect. It is perfect in purpose, perfect in purity, and perfect in practice.
Keep walking, keep working, keep writing, and keep being you!
Randall
Thanks for your ongoing ministry through this blog. Your writings challenge me. They point me to God. And they call me away from self-sufficiency, and toward the more mysterious where God alone knows all the answers and where I must walk by faith.
That's what the ancients were commended for, huh? And so we continue on that path.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I do continue to pray.
Susan G
Some have told me I am a mystery. Perhaps I am trying to be Christ-like...although I don't know for sure it's the same kind of mystery people mean when they talk about me. haha.
...BTW, I made up the moisture fractals part.
We still look through the mirror dimly, but one day it will be gloriously light!!!
Pressing on toward the prize!
I hope that you have felt the love, compassion, and faith that Lance and I have in our hearts for you as you read our blog entries. This is important to us! We have been on a journey similar to yours for too many years. Our hearts for writing on your blog are that we hope the things we have learned on our long journey can help make your journey shorter. We have learned not only from our victories but also from our failures.
I can promise you that God is more willing to reveal the dark mystery behind a disease than what man thinks. James 1:5 says that He will give wisdom liberally when we lack if we just ask and that He won’t even make us feel bad for asking. Daniel 2:22 tells us that God reveals the deep and secret things that are in darkness. A mystery may be concealed BUT it is our honor to search it out (Proverbs 25:2). There are many other Scriptures that show that God is not stingy regarding sharing His wisdom to those who ask.
One of the mysteries I have faced in dealing with MS is that my legs would go into muscle spasms during worship at church pretty much every Sunday. I finally asked God for some answers, and He answered me! This wisdom helped me have victory in this area. Spiritual discernment can solve mysteries.
There was MUCH mystery behind multiple chemical sensitivity when that disease had its grip on me. I can honestly say that the extreme mystery is gone today, and I am free of that disease. I understand spiritually what was happening.
A lack of knowledge destroys God’s people (Hosea 4:6), but knowing the truth brings freedom (John 8:32). It is an adventure for sure to trust God when there are no answers to a problem. Lance and I have found the adventure to be even more exciting when we get some answers!
If I could summarize what we have learned on our journey it would be that God is far more loving and kind, more willing to heal and deliver than religion has portrayed and that we have no idea how much He hates sin.
Love, Joy
Thanks for letting us know about the video...you are looking and sounding great John.People must have been giving you a standing "O", which you quickly shut down. It's just like you,humble you,to not let that moment be about your
"come back" but Steve's "coming into". Impressive John,but not surprising.If anyone I know deserves a standing "O" its you, but thats so not StumbO style.
I also enjoyed seeing your good ole smile,smirk when you talked about the all beef song.
I can't tell you how much you and Aunt Joanna are on my mind. All the time I'm wondering if there is something more I could do for you. I've been thinking a lot about Aunt Joanna and wondering what she needs right now. It would make me so happy to visit you guys for a weekend and help out in any way I could. Please know that I'm available to you guys.
I've received so much goodness from other people when I was struggling, it would thrill me to be able to do that for someone else. I hope you know that.
Your niece,
Abby
Earlier this evening, I read this verse: "Those who know your name put their trust in you, for you have not abandoned those who seek you, ADONAI" (Psalms 8:10). In spite of the mystery of your situation, may you continue to be especially encouraged by these two names: "El Roy" ("The God Who Sees Me") and "Yahweh Ropeh" ("The God Who Heals").
I have mixed emotions about these "year later" entries. I remember that this time last year, I was still convinced you would be healthy and running in Hood to Coast if we were fortunate enough to get in. That thought turned into "Please God, let him live." As each week comes and I think back to a year ago, it's painful to remember. I cried so many tears that I felt dry, but I still had another tear when the next "update" came. I prayed to God, I begged God, I praised God, I was a bit ticked off at times at God, I hate roller coasters, by the way.
Bottom line, I guess, is that no matter how painful to relive some of this, it is sure a lot better to relive it with you walking and talking and laughing and even flipping me a bit of crap again.
I know the Docs landed on a diagnosis, but I still think you should lobby for the St. Umbo Syndrome or something, I mean if any other poor person gets this, at least they would have a cool name to call it. Keep trucking and keep blogging. You are truly one of a kind Stumbo.
Dudster
John you've been teaching me so much--through your example and your blogs. I've said it before, I am a slow learner. Maybe you'd better pray that I will really learn the lesson! That we all will. Even without understanding.
Just know we all do love you and Joanna.
One question: Jo, are you eating well? Even if John can't. Are you getting good nutrition?
Much love, Vera
going through tunnels and twists and turns in the road of life.We can go on with God.
I will admit, I am struggling this morning. I have been completely humbled (I am a USC fan and I was at the game last night in my USC gear). On my way to the game yesterday afternoon, I prayed for two things. One, I prayed that I would be a good testimony to my friends win or lose (yes, I have been known not to be a very good loser from time to time) and I prayed that God would give you strength, encouragement, healing, and that you would continue to feel His presence and grace.
John and Joanna, we love you both so much!
Randall
At the New Workers Forum in Colorado Springs, (Sept.'07?),your time with us had the most impact in my life. You talked about the "Holy Headache", and you also shared as to the events in, I believe, Mt. Home Mn., when your plans were to leave the ministry and related happenings there that kept you in. Your times with us at that forum have been replayed back to me many times and I think of you often.
Having first learned of your situation through the last issue of A Life, and having been on a feeding tube due to cancer, seems to have put you upon my heart to carry you in prayer.
We love you brother! pastor Butch